Hey there all you (5) regular readers of this fabulous blog!
Just a little note to let you all know that we intend to post a few more reviews in the near future. At the moment we are renovating a basement suite as well as slogging away at our full time jobs!! So as soon as we're all settled in to the new place, the reviews will be in abundance!!
Em
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Short and Sweet Review
Daywatch (2007)
Cale:
I was looking forward to this one cuz Nightwatch, it’s predecessor, was innovative and fearless in its fantastical epic storytelling, and had a preview for this sequel at the end.
It’s really just a lot of fun with the world and the characters that the books were so famous for in its native Russia. Eye popping stunts, cutting edge CG, excellent acting by all. Way over the top. I thought the script was alternately brilliant and incredibly inept, that tells me the book was awesome and they couldn’t fit enough in. There’s more than a couple cheesy moments where you feel like you’ve missed out on a joke, but it’s just because they’re European…are Russians European? You might be weirded out by this one, but if you like strange dark fantasy, and you don’t mind foreign movies, you might want to check out the first one, Nightwatch.
Cale:
I was looking forward to this one cuz Nightwatch, it’s predecessor, was innovative and fearless in its fantastical epic storytelling, and had a preview for this sequel at the end.
It’s really just a lot of fun with the world and the characters that the books were so famous for in its native Russia. Eye popping stunts, cutting edge CG, excellent acting by all. Way over the top. I thought the script was alternately brilliant and incredibly inept, that tells me the book was awesome and they couldn’t fit enough in. There’s more than a couple cheesy moments where you feel like you’ve missed out on a joke, but it’s just because they’re European…are Russians European? You might be weirded out by this one, but if you like strange dark fantasy, and you don’t mind foreign movies, you might want to check out the first one, Nightwatch.
Emily:
This was a smooth movie, I’d like to watch both of the movies in this series without the voiceovers. It’s great to hear the actual sounds that the actors were making, and to hear the Russian language spoken.
Spiderman 3: the Don't Believe the Hype review
This is the premier of our “Don’t Believe the Hype” review.
This style of review is reserved for movies we’ve previously avoided because the hype was either too big, too bad, or too…anything really.
Spiderman 3 (2007)
Director and co-writer: Sam Raimi
- credits: hmm, a recap of the last two movies. does sam raimi think we’re all addle brained? maybe we didn’t watch the first two movies.
-...computer animated goo, dancing across the screen…classy
- cheerful-voice-over intro, courtesy of a dopey toby mcguire… people are throwing spitballs in a university level science class. …right…
-the beginnings of sandman, he’s being chased into a fenced area by the police
-“warning! particle physiscs? i see. an obscure non-descript science fair project with very irresponsible scientists who talk like truckers (except for that blonde bombshell over there) instead of investigating the criminal’s disappearance into the particle thingamajiggy, the cops scratch their heads and walk away -absolutely no explanation of what kind of experiment was going on
-spidey vs the goblin jr: a story that sam just had to tell!…well then… partial amnesia due to death match mishap… and…harry doesn’t remember that he hates peter, they’re all pals again! (am i watching a soap opera?) at least they’ve stopped flogging the dead horse, but i’m sure rookvless will show up again at the most inopportune moment
-the sandman special effects are very cool (first compliment!)
-uncle ben’s death scene in spiderman one a freekin’ hallucination? all of the sudden, it was really some other guy all along that killed him… because… because… sam raimi says so, that’s why
-“mary jane, let’s not get along because it’s more dramatic that way.”
-it’s good thing all these people are fighting in cheesy cg environments, or i might actually be afraid for someone’s life! (someone shoot me)
-oh..goody! here’s harry the gobin again. hm, apparently all super villains come equipped with their own wind machines . whistling arm blades? really? (just shoot me, just a little)
-finanlly, venom! hee hee, on to some good stu- what the? snappy prancing? uh huhn… evidently an evil alien symbiote will turn you into a swanky-walking-emo-hair-flipping-business-savvy-dancing-piano-man! seriously here, i’m double checking the box. did we accidentally rent west side story meets days of our lives? what is going on here?
-ok, here’s some action, mary jane is in a big black web, and here’s spidey, come to save the day! some may consider the huge american flag waving behind him to be a bit over the top. perrhaps those people were not watching the first two hours of this movie
-well that’s that then… i’m afraid that i’m with eddie brock on this one, “please god, kill peter parker.”
Cale:
Yeah, somebody told Sam Raimi he could do another Spiderman. Usually I don’t like it when they switch directors part-way through a series, but Spidey fans will tell you this one could do for a change. But hey, this one’s got a fast web-action re-cap for all the 6 year-olds who can’t remember anything that far back.
Man, spidey’s feelin’ old! He’s gonna ask M.J. to marry him, and the Sandman’s a criminal and a bad father, BORING!
Just in time, a fight with Harry (GreenGoblin Jr.). Oh look! Harry’s mortal! Who’d a thought? He’s dead!! And Sandman’s SAND, man! He’s made of sand from the top-secret sand-maker! Oh, Harry only hit his head, he’s fine! And he’s got amnesia too, this is great writing Sam! I don’t know, somehow a comic book movie turned into the O.C..
You know? I mean, M.J.’s got PMS, but whatever happened to the (silent) meteorite, and the black goo from it that jumped on the back of Peter Parker’s bike 15 minutes ago?
Okay, hold on! I just found out Eddie Brock, the muscle-head soon to be Venom, is played by Eric Foreman from “That 70’s Show.” It just doesn’t compute! Foreman looks like he’d be a better Peter Parker than Tobey McGuire, but Venom? Noway!
Sam Raimi should be writing the baby programming that’s on weekday mornings. I mean, the dialogue is such a waste of time, I find myself waiting for the commercial break! Um, is this a kids movie? Am I watching Spy-Kids(no offense to Spy-Kids!)?
Oh look! Both M.J. and Peter are being replaced in their lives! Things look conveniently dour, and all at the same time! AND WHAT ABOUT THE FREAKIN’ BLACK GOO??!!! Whole lotta nothing!!! I wrote way too much and it’s not even halfway through the movie!
Wow, Peter Parker’s stupid! And I can’t get over how fake Spiderman looks, is this 2007?! It must be, Spidey went Emo!
I had no idea this would be so fun! It’s SO bad I wanna watch it drunk with all my friends! I’m mad though, how come Spiderman’s fist doesn’t go through Harry’s face when he punches him? What about super-human strength?! I can’t write anymore, it gets worse. I’m laughing though, not crying. I would be if I was any bigger of a Spidey-fan!
Actually, moments of this are right up there with Batman & Robin for stupidity, and no Arnie! Apparently, the venom symbiote allows you to play the piano like a pro. Like, why even do the venom storyline if you want to keep it kindergarten safe and not go into the dark, psychological questions the comic book, and even the cartoon series, tried to tackle.
Will this have a moral at the end like 80’s He-Man cartoons?
I literally have beef with every line of this movie. It is a work of art how bad it really is.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Hot Fuzz
(2007)
Director: Edgar Wright
Starring: Those two guys from Shaun of the Dead, and, notably James Bond from Licence to Kill.
Cale:
Omigod! Funniest movie of the year! And that’s saying a lot with Knocked Up, Superbad and two male figure skaters out this year. Okay, I haven’t seen Superbad or Blades of Glory yet, but I’m sure Hot Fuzz is funnier. Well…40 year old Virgin was pretty hilarious, and those ARE the same guys who did Knocked Up (and THAT was freakin hilarious!), AND Superbad, so Superbad might be a close contender after all. Anyway!…Hot Fuzz! Rule of thumb for this one is; if you liked Shaun of the Dead, you’ll love Hot Fuzz. These guys have a way of doing genre parodies that are even funnier because of how WELL they are made! It’s like two normal guys, that even George Bush could empathize with (Kay, maybe not Bush), are thrust into a formulaic plotline, and a bug budget to boot. So what makes this better than other BuddyCop/Comedy/Thriller/Action movies? Everything! State of the art filming, editing, music, special effects, AND…The two funniest friends who will probably never stop finding ways to be buddies in a movie together! Like Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, without the music careers, alcohol, and gay sex (WAS Jerry Lewis gay?). It’s not something I can explain, these guys are incredibly funny! The star Simon Pegg, also co-wrote with the Director (as on Shaun), so I think these guys are going to continue to make some of the funniest (and strangely touching) movies in the years to come. Thank God! SOMEBODY needs to cut through the monotony of disappointment, walking out of the theatre thinking, “What was that?! Hey, I got leftover popcorn!!!” You know?
Emily:
I just about stopped breathing at one point. Yes. I was laughing that hard.
I’m a big fan of this strange breed of humor that Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright have hit on the head.
The quick paced opening features Simon Pegg, super efficient cop, showing off various tough cop skills. His dedication to the force put him in a bad situation, his CSI girlfriend leaves him, and his excellence on the job makes everyone else look bad. So, he is shipped off to small town England to join the locals in their humdrum existence.
This film is a wonderful romp, English humor steeped in All-American action movie madness.
The special effects don’t suffer, there are some real ‘shockers’ here. Great explosions, lovely stabbings… ever seen a church steeple decapitate the star reporter of a small country newspaper? (I guess decapitate isn’t the right word… perhaps squishify… yes.) There’s also something satisfying about seeing the local parish priest whip automatic handguns out of his robes. Warms the cockles of my little heart.
And then there’s the ever timeless action movie cliché: the good cop resolves to go loco on evil’s ass. At that moment in time, your leading man’s voice MUST go down in pitch by at least a fifth. If not, well…. it’s just not a real action movie then, is it?
Notes on a Scandal
Director: Richard Eyre
Starring: Dame Judi Dench, Cate Blanchett
Emily:
A whimsical high school teacher crosses the line and has an affair with one of her students.
Judi Dench is Barbara the hard headed school mistress who can command a room of students with the raising of an eyebrow, while Cate Blanchett portrays Sheba, a whimsical art teacher. Early on in the movie, Barbara is the sole voice as she reads from her meticulous journal. She is fascinated with Sheba from the beginning, and when the two begin a friendship, Barbara latches on to the new teacher in the hopes that their relationship will grow into something unbreakable.
When Barbara sees Sheba in an act of passion with one of the students, she decides to hold it over her head. “Now we are closer than ever,” she writes. She fantasizes that one day I will leave her husband and children and they will live together in a world of utter oneness.
What a skillfully crafted movie. Both women are driven to drastic actions by their loneliness and the longing for something wonderful to happen. There are so many facets of the human condition are portrayed. Love, lust, loyalty, temptation, loneliness, disappointment; all strikingly and honestly portrayed by a stellar cast.
Cale:
Psychological suspense is the genre, I’m told. Filmed in cool colors, quiet, introspective score, narration by Judi Dench’s character in excerpts from her obsessive journals.
Speaking of obsessive, Judi’s character is almost like a One Hour Photo type head case, and I don’t want to be afraid of Judi Dench like I am of Robin Williams since I watched that movie. Oddly enough, this film plays a lot like a female version of Endearing Love (starring Rhys Ifans and Daniel Craig), and that movie went from intriguing to obsessive real fast.
Thankfully, the psychosis part of the plot is kept to a minimum as to keep the ball rolling to its inevitable conclusion.
Incredible performances by all, Cate Blanchett is luminous and emotionally bare as ever, and I what I wouldn’t give to have had a teacher like that in high school. Wrong, so wrong.
Yeah, this one’s a squirmer too. A very human coldness to it that I could understand without having the experiences to identify with.Hitchcock would’ve had a blast with this one.
Starring: Dame Judi Dench, Cate Blanchett
Emily:
A whimsical high school teacher crosses the line and has an affair with one of her students.
Judi Dench is Barbara the hard headed school mistress who can command a room of students with the raising of an eyebrow, while Cate Blanchett portrays Sheba, a whimsical art teacher. Early on in the movie, Barbara is the sole voice as she reads from her meticulous journal. She is fascinated with Sheba from the beginning, and when the two begin a friendship, Barbara latches on to the new teacher in the hopes that their relationship will grow into something unbreakable.
When Barbara sees Sheba in an act of passion with one of the students, she decides to hold it over her head. “Now we are closer than ever,” she writes. She fantasizes that one day I will leave her husband and children and they will live together in a world of utter oneness.
What a skillfully crafted movie. Both women are driven to drastic actions by their loneliness and the longing for something wonderful to happen. There are so many facets of the human condition are portrayed. Love, lust, loyalty, temptation, loneliness, disappointment; all strikingly and honestly portrayed by a stellar cast.
Cale:
Psychological suspense is the genre, I’m told. Filmed in cool colors, quiet, introspective score, narration by Judi Dench’s character in excerpts from her obsessive journals.
Speaking of obsessive, Judi’s character is almost like a One Hour Photo type head case, and I don’t want to be afraid of Judi Dench like I am of Robin Williams since I watched that movie. Oddly enough, this film plays a lot like a female version of Endearing Love (starring Rhys Ifans and Daniel Craig), and that movie went from intriguing to obsessive real fast.
Thankfully, the psychosis part of the plot is kept to a minimum as to keep the ball rolling to its inevitable conclusion.
Incredible performances by all, Cate Blanchett is luminous and emotionally bare as ever, and I what I wouldn’t give to have had a teacher like that in high school. Wrong, so wrong.
Yeah, this one’s a squirmer too. A very human coldness to it that I could understand without having the experiences to identify with.Hitchcock would’ve had a blast with this one.
Blades of Glory
Directors: Will Speck & Josh Gordon
Starring: Will Ferrell and that guy from Napoleon Dynamite
Emily:
Just when you thought you’d seen it all, Will Ferrell shows you a little bit more. Perhaps a little bit too much more…… PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!
ahem
Two of the country’s top male skaters tie for first place. While sharing the podium a verbal disagreement becomes physical, and the two are forced too leave the world of figure skating “forever”! (Dun dun dun!) But, there’s a loophole, they can compete in pairs….. hmm.. but who would pair up with two of the sports most notoriously scandalous celebrities? Oh, oh, here’s a twist… wait for it… they have to work to together! Aw, that’s real original. Two rivals, now partners. I’m gonna love this one!
Seriously now, it wasn’t that horrible. I kept my dinner down. I laughed a few times (mostly at that guy from Napoleon Dynamite, with his blond locks and his perky fashion sense…) Another notable performance was found in that girl from The Office. She plays the dowdy third child of a brother-sister skating pair (who have a questionable passion for one another). She is set to spy on the world’s first male-male pairs skaters, and (oh, here’s another twist… wait… wait…) FALLS IN LOVE WITH THE CUTE ONE!! Aw…. So unexpected. Give me a moment, I’m reliving that wonderful moment when they first kiss after she tells him that her brother and sister treat her like a slave and blame her for their parents’ deaths. Classic.
Ok, I’m being a little mean. But it’s a lot more fun than saying. “Yup, this movie was ok, but it didn’t really rock my world. I guess it was kinda funny..”
This is Meany McMeanerson, signing out.
Cale:
I guess the members of this movie were expecting me to be much more eneasu with the sight of two men figure skating together, buit it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Sure it was funny at first, but I got over it. Maybe if it was a skit on SNL I might have squirt a Hershey.
I put it somehere between Anchorman and Taladega Nights. Will Farrell was slightle more tolerable than he was in Anchorman, and not nearly as “I’m burning! Oh, baby Jesus!” funny as in Taladega Nights. Maybe I’m just not a huge Farrell fan.
But holy handbags is the receptionist from the office suddenly smoking sexy or what? Will Farrell’s real life love interest, the director if “Slither”, his wife. Yeah. Hot. Bam!
EDITORIAL NOTE!
Ok people, are you too lazy to find out the names of the actors in this movie?
Let it be known that the guy from Napoleon Dynamite is named Jon Heder and that girl from The Office is named Jenna Fischer
Seriously, do your research!
Starring: Will Ferrell and that guy from Napoleon Dynamite
Emily:
Just when you thought you’d seen it all, Will Ferrell shows you a little bit more. Perhaps a little bit too much more…… PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!
ahem
Two of the country’s top male skaters tie for first place. While sharing the podium a verbal disagreement becomes physical, and the two are forced too leave the world of figure skating “forever”! (Dun dun dun!) But, there’s a loophole, they can compete in pairs….. hmm.. but who would pair up with two of the sports most notoriously scandalous celebrities? Oh, oh, here’s a twist… wait for it… they have to work to together! Aw, that’s real original. Two rivals, now partners. I’m gonna love this one!
Seriously now, it wasn’t that horrible. I kept my dinner down. I laughed a few times (mostly at that guy from Napoleon Dynamite, with his blond locks and his perky fashion sense…) Another notable performance was found in that girl from The Office. She plays the dowdy third child of a brother-sister skating pair (who have a questionable passion for one another). She is set to spy on the world’s first male-male pairs skaters, and (oh, here’s another twist… wait… wait…) FALLS IN LOVE WITH THE CUTE ONE!! Aw…. So unexpected. Give me a moment, I’m reliving that wonderful moment when they first kiss after she tells him that her brother and sister treat her like a slave and blame her for their parents’ deaths. Classic.
Ok, I’m being a little mean. But it’s a lot more fun than saying. “Yup, this movie was ok, but it didn’t really rock my world. I guess it was kinda funny..”
This is Meany McMeanerson, signing out.
Cale:
I guess the members of this movie were expecting me to be much more eneasu with the sight of two men figure skating together, buit it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Sure it was funny at first, but I got over it. Maybe if it was a skit on SNL I might have squirt a Hershey.
I put it somehere between Anchorman and Taladega Nights. Will Farrell was slightle more tolerable than he was in Anchorman, and not nearly as “I’m burning! Oh, baby Jesus!” funny as in Taladega Nights. Maybe I’m just not a huge Farrell fan.
But holy handbags is the receptionist from the office suddenly smoking sexy or what? Will Farrell’s real life love interest, the director if “Slither”, his wife. Yeah. Hot. Bam!
EDITORIAL NOTE!
Ok people, are you too lazy to find out the names of the actors in this movie?
Let it be known that the guy from Napoleon Dynamite is named Jon Heder and that girl from The Office is named Jenna Fischer
Seriously, do your research!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The King (2005)
Director: James Marsh
Starring: Gael Garcia Bernal, William Hurt, Pell James
Cale:
I don’t usually like to watch movies while having any preconceptions about them, but anyway---I had high hopes for this movie! It said “William Hurt with an Oscar worthy performance, where was that? I love Gael Garcia Bernal, that’s why I rented it, but the religious overtones were subdued and baseless, and the sociopathic theme came abruptly and in a disappointing way. Plus, the beautiful Pell James, who has this quiet ambience about her, gets roped into this incest plotline that seems to relish in its own awkwardness. You know those movies that seem to enjoy making you uncomfortable? This is one. Maybe I’m just missing the underlying message it’s trying to convey, because the only one I can see is “Don’t join the navy, then discharge to your illegitimate father’s community, make contact, screw your half-sister, then decide to have a child-like sociopathic breakdown. Good advice I guess.The actors are great. Who convinced them to do this punch-drunk creeper?
Emily:
Yup, we have a creeper here.
I’m all for quiet films that show you a coming of age moment in someone’s life. But all I wanted to do (from to moment Bernal’s character set eyes on his sister) was shout, “What are you DOING!?”.
So much agony could have been prevented if the pastor had just told his children who that young man was; but his pride got in the way. One small decision sets off a chain reaction that ends in… oh I won’t spoil it for you, I see that Cale already has….
It’s possible that the ‘point’ of this movie was; swallow your pride (or else). Or maybe it’s saying something about your past always catching up with you. But whatever the point may be, some things were a little hard to swallow.
The movie had me interested though…. up until a pathetic and meaningless crime pushed my, “Oh, come ON….” button.
After that, fast forwarding was the preferred viewing choice. We paused at any point where it looked as if action might lead to meaning, but we were ultimately disappointed.
And a little weirded out.
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